There’s a store chain in Japan called Don Quijote. You can buy anything there from import foods, to furniture, to cell phones, to pet supplies, to sex toys. And it’s open 24 hrs a day for your late night booze munchies.

You can also buy clothing. Look how Japan uses black stereotypes to market men’s underwear with a little extra room.

I just went in to buy shampoo. And look what they’re selling next to the shampoo. Oh good. Condoms. Wait… what’s this?

Um…. well… that’s specialized.

A couple weeks ago, the ninensei went on a field trip to Akihabara in Tokyo. The English teacher told me a few of them want to visit a maid café.

A maid café is a restaurant where the women are dressed in frilly rococo or French Maid dresses and use exalting form of the Japanese language (rather than simply the normal, or respectful form) to serve male customers coffee and food. “Here is your cuppacino, master.”

When I was on a middle school field trip into the city, the boys wanted to visit Hooters. We were expressly forbidden to enter Hooters.

And here is we see the defining difference Japanese and American sexuality. The Japanese adolescents want to see women dressed as little Lolitas making them feel important and the teachers think it’s cute. The American boys want to see big tits and short shorts and the teachers won’t allow it.

At home the men visit strip clubs to see bare titties and asses swung in their faces. Here, the men go to hostess cafes where pretty women in low cut and tight dresses pretend to like them.

In one country they inflate their egos, in the other they just inflate their cocks.

I can’t decide whether I’d find the customers more irritating as a hostess or as a stripper.

I went to my first hostess club this month with two gaijin men and our middle aged Japanese doctor patron of the evening. The Japanese doctor tried to hide the fact that it was a hostess club from me. He kept calling it an “international conversation café.” Oh, honey, I’ll play innocent for your sake, but I know exactly where we’re going and why we’re going there.

In elementary school news:

At my Thursday elementary school one of the kids caught me off guard. I could have misheard him but I think he leveled the back of two fingers at my face in the British flip off and said “Fuck,” very matter of factly.

Usually, I only see kids wearing dirty Engrish shirts at my Thursday elementary school. But I have seen the same shirt at both my Thursday and Friday schools. It’s dark blue with white writing. In big letters it says:

Rapid Growth 69

And then there is print all over the shirt that says the following:

Just now growth!
Dynamic
Stability
Action at the right time
Mission Got a backbone
A.M.S.
Mission of men

Today one of the bad ninensei asked me “Do you play sex?”

Here’s an interesting blog article on odd condom designs from Japan. The “Power, Black” is definitely my favorite.

What I don’t really understand is why the Japanese need such interesting condoms when they never get laid. This Inventorspot article claims that Japan is the largest consumer of condoms per capita in the world. But I’ve also heard that the Japanese never have sex (see depressing column at right). How does that work?

I can certainly attest to the fact that the Japanese aren’t doing it. Or at least, that the Japanese aren’t doing me. However, now that I think of it, my Japanese next-door neighbors are getting some (or rather, a lot) from what I can hear through my thin Leopalace apartment walls. Maybe they’re filling up the condom quota for the rest of their compatriots.

Because I’m really mature.

I figure if the junior high students can collapse on each other laughing every time I mention the numbers 6, 16, or 60 then I’m allowed this bit of linguistic perversion.
On the other hand, maybe I need to remind myself that I’m 10 years older than my students.

I was learning some kanji today and came across the kanji for mouth.

口

It’s a simple enough kanji. I should be able to look up the stroke order and memorize it pretty quickly. But I realized I didn’t know the word for “mouth,’ so I looked that up.

くち = ku chi

KU CHI? Really?! Coochie? The word for mouth is coochie?!

Now I’m going to that anime style ROTFLMAO everytime someone wants to talk about their mouth.

I hope I don’t get a toothache cause then they’ll send me to the dentist and he’ll be like “Open your mouth.” And I’ll be like “Only for you, sexy dentist man.”

くち、meet coochie.

I really need to get laid.

The ichinensei were given worksheets to go around interviewing classmates about likes and dislikes. They had to ask, “Do you like… art, judo, computer*, baseball, cooking, juice, English, basketball, music?”

First of all, the worksheet was off to a great start. It was titled “I don’t like English.” The interview example given was:
A: I like English. Do you like English?
B: No, I don’t. I don’t like English. (more…)