Since I had pretty much decided I wouldn’t be sleeping that night, I woke up as late as I could, around 9:30. It couldn’t be any later than that because the hostel kicks people out of their rooms at 10.

Not sleeping would be better than completely missing the Osaka nightlife. I had been entirely too excited by the lights of Dotombori and Ebisu and thought it too much of a shame to shut my eyes on the electric city. My friend from Portland had seen an organic store in Osaka, called Crayon House, on the internet and gave me the details for it. I’d drop off my book bag in a locker at Shin Osaka, get brunch at the Crayon House, then head over to the Human Rights Museum. I had to be at the Bunraku Theater by 4, which meant I should leave the museum by 3, since it seemed to take an hour to get anywhere in Osaka (factoring in getting lost time). (more…)

The area around the Osaka Aquarium is called Tempozan, supposedly after the Japan’s smallest mountain. My companion had heard about it on the internet. Curious to see what a “smallest mountain” was, my friend and I searched the area carefully until we found a small park with a mound labeled “Tempozan” in Japanese. It was just a hill. I still can find no explanation for why anyone has ever justified calling this a “mountain” instead of a “hill.” It would have been more impressive if it had been much higher or much smaller. I was expecting something the size of a building or a cute little mound that came about waist high.

After the “mountain” the other girl decided to go home and shelter from the heat. I had to find something else to do. When I had arrived in Osaka the day before with few ideas, I went to the tourist office in Shin Osaka station first. I saw a flyer for unlimited subway and bus riding for either 1 (¥2,000/$17.22) or 2 (¥2,700/$23.25) days. The pass allowed free or discounted passes to many of Osaka’s finest attractions. Obviously, the 2-day pass is a better deal. But there were two major differences between the two passes. The 2-day pass did not cover all of the subway lines and it was only available to tourists, not residents like me. So I got the 1-day pass. Once I discovered that an all day subway ticket cost less than ¥900, I realized I had been ripped off. Especially since I didn’t intend to hit many of the tourist attractions listed. There was a discount coupon for the aquarium, which was nice, but I wasn’t interested in most of the places. There are only so many amazing high places (various Ferris wheels/tourist trap towers) that one can see and still be impressed. Both the Buddhist temple are almost completely reconstructions. There are very few Japanese castles remaining in their original composition. Japanese castles are very flammable. When it was built in 1598, the castle in Osaka had been touted as impregnable. Not too long later, an angry horde stormed and destroyed it. The Osaka castle was rebuilt. Lightning burned a large chunk of it in 1665. More aggressive hordes came by and destroyed it again in 1868. The main tower was rebuilt in 1928 and bombed in 1945. In 1995, the Japanese had decided that Osaka needed another tourist trap and recreated the entire castle. I had already been to one Japanese castle that was fitted with air conditioning, elevators, and cheesy reenactment films. I didn’t need to do that again. (more…)

Today started with a trip to the National Bunraku Theater to buy a ticket for tomorrow’s 4pm showing of “The 17th Kamigata Kabuki Performance.” I don’t know anything more than that. Just that it’s kabuki and I’ve been meaning to see kabuki. Then I rushed over to meet a girl I encountered on Japan Forum at the Osaka Aquarium.

She has an interesting story. She’s an overweight gothy British girl, but is a hostess in Japan. She also has an obsession with beautiful Japanese boys and woefully confesses that she spends a lot of her money visiting host bars.

The aquarium is supposed to be on of the largest in the world. The plexiglass used in this one aquarium is 1.5 the world’s yearly output. However, I didn’t find it any better than the Baltimore Aquarium (with the exception of the otters!) and it certainly wasn’t more impressive than the Monterey Bay Aquarium. It boasts a whale shark, but it’s only a little whale shark. The great white the Monterey Bay Aquarium used to have was much bigger. The Osaka Aquarium was difficult to enjoy because of the crowd. The Lonely Planet guide to Japan (almost useless) said to arrive by opening time because lines are horrible during weekends or holidays. Well, it wasn’t a weekend, but it was Obon, one of Japan’s 3 major traveling times. I got there about an hour and a half after opening. While the line outside was only 20min long (but in the boiling Osakan heat) the inside was unbelievably cramped. They had women with loudspeakers positioned at the tightest corners. According to my companion, the women were telling people that it was really crowded so please move along. I didn’t get to see a lot of the exhibits. Getting jostled by parents and pushed by children put me in a bit of a surly mood. I was actually looking forward to getting out of there. (more…)

I arrived in Osaka at 3pm today. I’m staying at the Osaka Shiritsu Nagai Youth Hostel near Shinosaka station. It’s a very well maintained and modern hostel, complete with wireless internet, which I’m using to tell you my stories.

I accepted a suggestion to go check out the HEP FIVE Ferris wheel. It’s a fancy Ferris wheel on top of a 9 story shopping complex. I say fancy because the cars are shiny, red, and air conditioned. Next to this massive commercial building are a couple other very similar buildings, but without the Ferris wheel on top. HEP is a serious shopping endeavor.

After I got to Osaka, I needed a few hours to eat, rehydrate, plan, and relax. I didn’t really get out and about until 6pm. To get to HEP, I took the subway to Umeda Station. I realized I was still hungry, thirsty, and I needed that other sort of drink as well. I went wandering around looking for an exciting bar nestled between the love hotels and hostess bars. I wanted a place that was stylish, intimate, not exorbitantly expensive, and looked like I might be able to get a pescatarian meal. After about an hour, I stumbled across a sign for do with cafe. It looked like it might be all of these and it didn’t have a table or cover charge. Table charges are my pet peeve. You have to pay a fee (about the price of one drink) just to patronize most bars in Japan. And most bars won’t tell you they have a table charge until you’re leaving and your bill is suddenly a lot more expensive than you expected. (more…)

I’m taking an impulse trip from Maebashi to Osaka (4 hrs on the bullet train). The journey is based on no more than a few days of free time and a specific stuffed animal found only at the Osaka aquarium.

Since this trip is spurred by a most particular mission (the acquisition of a certain strange stuffed animal), I am requesting other missions to fill my time.

Got a rumor of a restaurant with meals meriting a mouthful?
A glimpse of graffiti on a train station bathroom wall?
An urban legend you need dispelled so you can sleep at night?
Want to live vicariously through my experiences, various and sundry?

Send me your dearest dreams and ideas, the fun, the fantastical, the utterly bizarre.

I will take the best suggestions and post them here along with a detailed story of the events that follow.

(Please give me as much detail as possible- such as specific location. The more information I have, the more likely the mission will be accomplished.)

I will leave tomorrow morning (Thursday, August 16 2007) and arrive in Osaka sometime in the early afternoon. I’ll be there until Sunday night or until the (mis)adventures run out.