In first grade we had a unit on Japan. We didn’t focus on the history of Japan or anything, but we dabbled in bits of culture.

They had us make shoji screens out of tissue paper and wax paper. They gave us flowers, butterflies, and star shapes cut of out colored tissue paper, which we arranged on pieces of wax paper. Then the teacher ironed two pieces of wax paper together and hung our shoji screens above our desk.

Then they taught us about haikus with the 5-7-5 syllable pattern. We dictated haikus to our teacher who wrote them down for us. When she came to me, I looked above my desk and said:

Pretty shoji screen
Flowers and butterflies, too
Small stars in the sky

I don’t know why I remember that.

They also taught us a song. I don’t remember all of it, but I’ll do my best:

Cherry trees something in the breeze
In the land across the sea.
Pretty goldfish swimming in the water
(I don’t remember this line)
Children laugh and play.
Bamboo gently sways.
“Ah so, konichiwa-
Good day!” in Japan.

Wow. I don’t know whether to be proud or depressed that I remember that much. This is just one little mite bit of the BS they taught me in elementary school.

At the end of the unit, our mothers sewed us “kimonos” out of old bed sheets. We wore them to school and our mothers brought in “traditional Japanese dishes” they had cooked for us to sample. I’m pretty sure most of the mothers just whipped up some good ole fried rice. Japanese. Chinese. Americanized Asian-ish crap. What’s the difference, really? Those people all look the same, after all.