Today I noticed that about one quarter of the junior high school is it’s own separate building. A building I had never been in. In fact, a building that is never used by anyone. I have been working here for almost two months and I only notice this now? To my credit, from an American standpoint, this is an impossibility. I keep finding various rooms within the functional part of the school that are never used and I am just boggled. With the American problem of overcrowding in schools, every last usable inch is not only utilized but vehemently fought for and protected. There would never be open, empty rooms that could be used for classrooms. There certainly wouldn’t be an entire three story building ignored. It doesn’t look like it’s in disrepair. It just looms there, unwanted and creepy.

Even with the absence of a large cafeteria (Public schools in Japan don’t have cafeterias. The students eat at their desks.), this junior high is much larger than my middle school was. My middle school was overcapacity and still managed to contain over 1,000 students. This double-winged Japanese junior high school only has to handle 300 students. Even without the extra building, about half the school is dead silent and empty at any one time.

I hear the number of students has dwindled over the decades as the birthrate in Japan has been declining. If this school was ever full, I can only imagine how much of an effect this is having on Japan. But it’s possible that whoever designed the school just went on severe overkill.

As an American, I’m so jealous.

At the junior high school the ninensei (2nd years) were learning the expression “You look __________” to make compliments. After teaching them the basic format, the English teacher put a few sample adjectives on the board, “cute, young, beautiful, pretty, wonderful.” She had the students practice by going down the row and asking them to compliment me. I would then smile a charming American smile and say “Thank you.” Most of them just used the words on the board. I got a lot of “you look pretty,” “you look beautiful.” A few adventurous ones turned to a list of adjectives in the back of their textbook, mining it for pleasant seeming words that could plug into the target sentence.

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Thats all?! But I’m still hungry!
You have Japanese class tonight. You don’t have time to cook anything.
Oh wait. Look! There’s Pocky! You don’t have to cook Pocky!
You CANNOT eat Pocky for dinner!
I can and I will! I’m an adult! I can eat whatever I want!

CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH

There are all these swallows that nest under the ledges of the schools. There are some nesting in the second floor walkway of my junior high school where I pass from the teachers’ room to classes. They cheer me a bit, huddled down in their mud-bowl nests. I can barely see their dark blue heads and red throats poking over the top, and their double pointed tails; they can never fit those in.
But everyday, I’ve been noticing mud crumbles on the walkway. The nests had been broken one by one, until all of my sweet little swallows were gone. After the first or second one, I figured that it was just the wind or that they had been constructed poorly. Oh silly swallows, this is natural selection at work! But when all the nests were all broken I knew for sure it was no accident.

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A 6th year boy with glasses, who I believe is 11 years old, approached me at the koi pond today and said “excuse me.” I moved to let him pass. He moved to the other side of me and said “excuse me” again.
“Yes?”
The boy began to speak:
Nicolas Sarkozy, the passionate, pugnacious son of a Hungarian immigrant, was elected president of France on Sunday, promising a break with the past, a new style of leadership, and a renewal of relations with the United States and the rest of Europe. Sarkozy’s triumph over Ségolène Royal, the Socialist candidate, was a huge blow to her party and dashed her dream of becoming the country’s first female president. But Royal tried to rally her supporters, telling them French politics had forever changed with her candidacy.

What?!

“Do you understand what you just said?” I asked him
“Thank you.”
“Why did you memorize that?”
“Thank you. I can speak English a little.”
“You memorize very well.”
“Thank you.”

I got through my first day of firstgraders… and without getting kanchoed.

This is no mean feat. Three of my friends working in Elementary schools had already gotten kanchoed within their first month and half of working. For those of you who don’t know what a kancho is, it’s a very special treat for teachers. Children clasp their hands together with index fingers outstretched, as if making a gun, and then they ram that between your ass cheeks. No fucking kidding. They don’t get punished for it either.

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Today, I was at one of my elementary schools. A third grader got so mad at me for not calling on him when raised his hand and shouted that he screamed and pounded on his desk. Once he got so frustrated that I called on the girl in front of him rather than him that he grabbed her ponytail and pulled with all his might. Rather than rushing to her aid, the teacher half heartedly shooed him away. In fact she dealt with most of his misbehavior in a friendly way, by smiling at him and holding his hand to try to quiet him. It didn’t really work that well.

The scant understanding of English that the Japanese have can have some pretty hilarious results in the schools. Here’s two shirts that I saw on some boys IN THE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL today.

1. GOD 69
2. There’s a picture of a skeleton playing pool. Underneath it says: Get boned by the best.

There’s a nice sunny Home Ec. room on the third floor of my junior high school. I’ve been wanting to stop in. Today, I went for a wander in my free time and heard noise and smelled food right up the stairs. Excellent, I’ll just go check it out.

Home Ec. is taught by the youngest female teacher at this school. At 27, she’s the closest to my age. I’m the youngest person in the entire staff by over 4 years. And she’s the youngest of the regular teachers by far. Home Ec. must be an elective. There were only two boys in the class. I wonder what their motives are. To be around so many girls? To learn how to be a chef? Because they actually like cooking and want to learn how to help around the house? Because all the other classes were filled? It’s still extremely strange for a Japanese man to do housework. I read an educational book in the school library (it was both in English and Japanese) about a fictional Japanese girl staying with a family in the US. She was positively floored that the father of the family was making breakfast. In my middle school, a brief term of Home Ec. was required of both boys and girls. (more…)

I feel imprisoned inside the school because of this culture’s attitude on shoes. I’m at work from around 8:15am until 4:30pm every weekday. I teach anywhere from 2 to 4 classes a day. This means that I have nothing to do for up to 6 ¼ hrs a day. The weather is getting beautiful and I’d love to spend it outside. I’d also like to spend less time on my ass in the teacher’s room losing muscle and gaining flub. I’d also like to spend more time outside of class meeting the students. The logical thing to do would be to go play some games with them, stop fretting and just go out and do it. Oh… but it’s not that easy because of shoes.
Since I am required by my company to wear business attire to work, I wear my nice, vaguely formal, vaguely causal Earth Shoes. They’re very orthopedic and comfortable and yet respectable. They don’t look stupid with a suit. Stylish and practical for the professional life. Black leather, with a strap. I could get away with my more durable Doc Martens but they are way too difficult to get and on and off, and this is extremely important in Japan.

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On my way biking through Isesaki I realized I was too tired for karaoke and turned back for home. I stopped twice at convenience stores to gorge myself on bento boxes. In the last part of the journey I tried to take a short cut and ended up missing my turn.

The night took on a surreal quality. I biked about a quarter mile down this road. There were grain fields on either side. The streetlights had abruptly ended and I could see the moon through a patchy gap in the clouds. The moon caused the irregular frame of the clouds to shine white along the edge. I didn’t know where I was but the humidity and the buzz of the cicadas made me think I must be somewhere in southeast US.

Engrish of the day:

Thought at that time is put

WRITE PHOTO

The result condition that really took picture entirely. $13.20
It tries this splandid technology

From a tan long sleeved shirt with dark brown writing. Size large.